- Michael O'Donoghue
- Mr. Mike
- Dan Aykroyd
- Church of Jack Lord leader / Self
- Rhonda Coullet
- Singer at Church of Jack Lord
- Jane Curtin
- Self
- Carrie Fisher
- Self
- Teri Garr
- Self
- Joan Hackett
- Self
- Debbie Harry
- Self
- Sarah Holcomb
- Self
- Margot Kidder
- Self
- Bill Murray
- Man on the Street
- Laraine Newman
- Self
- Gilda Radner
- Self
- Sid Vicious
- Self
- Foster MacKenzie III
- Root Boy Slim / Self (as Root Boy Slim)
- Edie Baskin
- Self
- Robert Delford Brown
- JoJo The Human Hot Plate
- Susan Forristal
- Self
- François Giroday
- (as Francois de la Giroday)
- Mitch Glazer
- Man selling film to Mr.Mike
- Judith Belushi-Pisano
- Self
- Teri Keane
- Self
- Wendie Malick
- Self / Woman in underwear
- Marii Mak
- Self
- Brian McConnachie
- Laser Bra 2000 Scientist
- Patty Oja
- Self
- Robert Perry
- Laserbra 2000 Narrator
- Emily Prager
- Woman in Film Room / Right Sea Zombie / Jack Lord Follower
- Barry Rebo
- Man in Film Room
- Barry Secunda
- Man in Film Room
- Paul Shaffer
- Jack Lord Organist
- Sylvia Shichman
- Self
- Loretta Tupper
- Self
- Anna Upstrom
- Self
- Dirk Wittenborn
- Cat Swimming School Instructor
- Tricia Brock
- Left Sea Zombie
- Ernie Fosselius
- Armageddon Director / Self (uncredited)
- Klaus Nomi
- Opera Singer
- Don Novello
- Men in Film Room
- Helen Robison
- Teenaged Daughter
- Mitchell Sugarman
- (uncredited)
