Summaries

Synopsis

Mike Tiboriski wakes up, dazed and confused, in the back of a horse trailer traveling down the highway. Mike calls his best friend, Kurt Jensenowski, to figure out what's going on. Kurt, donning a full cow costume, informs Mike that, "We're going west!" Kurt explains to the camera that Mike has had a rough few days, having just lost his job, his girlfriend, and his dog. Kurt believes Mike is going to be pretty happy that the two of them are heading west.

"2 Days Earlier," Kurt, no longer wearing a cow costume, and Mike, accessorized with a giant cheesehead, are in Verona, Wisconsin, promoting Meister Cheese at The Greater Bucky Open golf outing. The two interact with golfers and make many cheese-related jokes. In the process, they meet Troy, a young businessman who owns an up-and-coming promotional company, Sconnie Promotions. Despite Kurt and Mike being on the clock, working for one of Troy's competitors, Big Joe Thompson's Wisco Promo Co., Troy hands the guys his business card and instructs them to give him a call if they ever want to jump ship or if anything comes up.

The cheese promoting has concluded and Kurt and Mike are walking in to a meeting with their boss, Big Joe Thompson. Mike informs Kurt that Kurt smells awful. Despite being lactose intolerant, Kurt has been eating some of the cheese they were previously selling, and it's causing him to let out some cheese-infused gas.

Kurt and Mike walk into Joe Thompson's office and Joe immediately fires them. Mike argues that he has no idea why they've been suddenly fired. Joe informs them that $10,000 worth of cheese has gone missing. Joe instructs Mike to stay away from his daughter, Amanda Thompson, who also happens to be Mike's girlfriend. Kurt and Mike depart Joe's office and Mike starts to yell at Kurt, assuming Kurt has something to do with the missing cheese and the two losing their respective jobs. Kurt plays it down and assures Mike that it's not that bad and that he has a plan and it's all going to be fine.

Big Joe Thompson, adorned in three layers of flannel, addresses the firing of Kurt and Mike. He feels bad about firing the boys and explains that he sees them like his own children and that he spent years training them and molding them into better employees and men; however, Joe drew the line when $10,000 worth of cheese went missing.

Mike, still upset about losing his job, gets in his car and calls his girlfriend, Amanda, hoping that she will understand that he had nothing to do with the missing cheese. Amanda is already aware of the situation and is having none of it and tells Mike, "It's over."

Kurt calls Troy from Sconnie Promotions. Kurt asks if Troy might have a job for himself and Mike, and Troy lets him know that he has a little something for them if they can show up at the Stadium Bar in Madison, Wisconsin, the next morning. Troy ends the call by asking, "Kurt, do you have a cow costume, by chance?"

Kurt gets dressed up in his cow costume. It's a game day morning in Madison and the 3-0 Wisconsin Badgers football team is set to take on the 1-2 Michigan State Spartans at Camp Randall Stadium. Kurt finds Mike at the Stadium Bar and apologizes for getting them both fired from Wisco Promo Co.. Kurt explains that he's talked to Troy and he has a new gig for the two of them. Mike is depressed about losing his job, his girlfriend, and his dog, and is not interested in bouncing back and working with Kurt so quickly, but he gives Kurt a chance and they meet up with Troy.

Troy explains that he is working with a new Wisconsin-based brewery, promoting a beer called Happy Cow. He has a promotional gig for the guys that would require them to travel west, promoting Happy Cow. If the guys can pull off the job, getting distribution deals for Happy Cow, there's a $10,000 bonus. Kurt is overly excited about the prospects, but Mike still feels it's too soon to start up something new. Mike declines the offer, but Kurt and Troy shake hands and Kurt assures Troy that he can get Mike to come around and do the gig.

Kurt joins the Sconnie Girls on stage at the Stadium Bar and together, the girls and Kurt pump up the crowd and give away Sconnie products to the attendees. Mike watches as Kurt dances and plays around on stage. Kurt brings Mike a beer and tries again to convince Mike to join him for the gig. Kurt explains that there's a big Oktoberfest celebration and the newly-opened Happy Cow Brewery is planning to welcome them and give them a tour later that day. Mike agrees to go to the brewery, but not to the trip itself.

At an undisclosed location, Kurt leads Mike out of a field of corn and up to a truck and horse trailer that Kurt intends to take on the trip out west. The two hop in the rig and travel to meet Scroggins Baumgartner, BM, the inventor of Happy Cow. Scroggins' beer lab is a dark, foggy room with a beer sculpture and all kinds of contraptions used to make beer. The ever-eccentric Scroggins explains to Kurt and Mike that he had a vision that a cow and a small veal would go west and save his brewery. It's apparent that the success of the Happy Cow Brewery depends on the success of the guys' promotional gig. Kurt is more excited than ever, but Mike is disoriented in Scroggins' lair and still not on board with the operation.

Kurt and Mike travel to New Glarus, Wisconsin, to the brand-new hill top brewery. Both guys are in awe of the sheer size and beauty of the new brewery. Mike agrees to join Kurt at the sendoff party later that evening, provided Kurt does not embarrass him for the whole night. They load kegs of beer into the horse trailer and head over to the Oktoberfest celebration.

Later that night, Kurt and Mike return to the Stadium Bar for their sendoff party. They share Happy Cow with attendees and get a positive reaction to the new beer. Kurt explains that he has been feeding Mike drinks in the hopes that Mike will pass out and Kurt will be able to kidnap him and take him along for the trip west. The MadHatters a cappella group show up and sing a Happy Cow inspired song for Kurt.

Mike wakes up in the back of the horse trailer, disoriented, while it's traveling down the highway between Madison and Chicago. Furious, he gets Kurt to pull over at the Illinois Welcome Center and yells at Kurt. Mike learns that not only has Kurt not packed him a bag for the trip, but Mike's bag is full of the missing Meister Cheese. Mike changes into a Sconnie shirt and Kurt informs him that he needs Mike to come along to Chicago for their promotional gig that night. Kurt's voicemail receives an ominous call from a low-pitched, distorted voice, warning them that the beer should not leave the state of Wisconsin and that there will be consequences if it does.

As they approach Chicago, Mike is trying desperately to get a hold of Amanda and share what he's learned about the stolen cheese and also his side of the story. To no avail, Mike keeps getting Amanda's voicemail. The guys arrive in Chicago. Kurt has never left the state of Wisconsin, so they sightsee downtown Chicago. They pass out flyers for the evening's festivities. Kurt is in awe of the trains and the water taxis. They travel to a sitting area in front of Kendall College, make more Chicago jokes and make fun of Kendall College, and then they continue on to their gig at Lottie's Pub in Bucktown.

The gig at Lottie's Pub seems to be going smoothly. People are enjoying the beer and Kurt's cow costume is a hit with the crowd. Mike finds some more clothes in the bar's lost and found box. Kurt and Mike share a friendship shot and Mike finally agrees to continue on with Kurt on their westward adventure. As Mike is praising Kurt's promotional abilities, the representative of the pub tears up their contract and kicks the guys out. They park their rig among the semi-trucks at a truck stop and go to bed, unsure of where things went wrong.

The next morning, the guys travel across the Mississippi River and into Iowa. Kurt is in awe of the huge river and being in another state (besides Wisconsin). They fuel up and make fun of Iowa as they travel through it and on to Missouri. The guys joke around and play road trip games and discuss their grievances with current movies, as well as what movies they'd like to see made in the future. Mike is still trying to call Amanda to clear things up, but Kurt grabs Mike's phone and drops it into his drink, ruining the phone. They argue about relationships, the meaning of love, and whether or not Mike and Amanda should be together. Kurt is hesitant to share the reasons they didn't get a signed contract last night in Chicago, but he explains that he awoke in the middle of the night to a vision of Scroggins Baumgartner telling him to keep going west.

When the guys arrive at Kelly's Westport Inn in Kansas City, Missouri, there is no one else there. With no one to enjoy the Happy Cow, they continue on to Denver. Evidently, Kurt confused Kansas City, Kansas with Kansas City, Missouri, not realizing they're so close to one another. Troy is starting to worry about the guys' prospects and has been unable to get a hold of Kurt and Mike. Big Joe Thompson is still upset about the $10,000 worth of cheese going missing and is concerned about tainting the reputation of his company.

The guys poke fun of Kansas and its flatness. They stop at another truck stop for the night, resting up for their trip on to Denver. Kurt receives another phone call and more threats from the mystery caller. The next morning, Kurt shares with Mike that he has been receiving threatening calls and also that there may be someone following them. Mike is completely confused. Mike decides he will take the reins in Denver. He's seen Kurt's mistakes and believes that his own contacts are more promising for this particular stop. Kurt agrees and says he'll let him call Amanda from his phone if the gig goes well. Another Scroggins vision has instructed Kurt to take a slight detour and stop at "The Land of 10,000 Cows" before they get to Denver. Apparently, this landmark is "halfway there" and will provide the guys with some much-needed inspiration.

The Land of 10,000 Cows (cattle, in reality) has Kurt incredibly motivated and he runs among the cattle and attempts to communicate with them. Mike, on the other hand, is not inspired and recognizes that these penned cattle are unhappy and in an unnatural environment. Mike's not really sure why they stopped at such a depressing place.

Kurt and Mike arrive in Denver as the Milwaukee Brewers are preparing to take on the Colorado Rockies, just up the street, in MLB action. They joke that the entire production budget was spent scheduling this game between the hometown Rockies and Wisconsin's Brewers. Kurt and Mike stand outside Swanky's Vittles & Libations, a Wisconsin-friendly bar near the stadium, and entice people to "come on in for a brewski" and "party with the cow." They get some takers to join them and try some Happy Cow. The movie's sound guy, Eric, shows up on camera. He is celebrating his 30th birthday and has had a bit to drink, so he's airing his grievances that he always has to be behind the scenes and never on camera. The guys diffuse Eric by sending him in to the bar to have a birthday shot with the owner.

When the Denver party starts up, the sound guy is consumed and everything becomes a silent movie. The events unfold with title cards and grainy, silent-film-like footage. The party concludes with Mike getting kicked out of the bar and the guys once again having failed to make a sale.

Kurt and Mike travel through the mountain pass from Denver to Las Vegas, Nevada. A blizzard has appeared and they are slowed down on this most scenic route, through the Eisenhower Tunnel and the Vail Pass. They leave Colorado and stop at a rest stop in Utah, gazing off at the horizon, enjoying a Happy Cow and noting the changes from Wisconsin to Utah. For the first time, Mike also sees a vision of Scroggins and he realizes that Kurt is not quite as crazy as he previously thought. Reenergized, they get back in the truck and continue on to "Vegas, Baby!"

Kurt answers the phone and the same mystery caller is still threatening the boys, telling them that he/she will grate their fingers off with cheese graters if they don't return the Happy Cow to its rightful home, Wisconsin. Kurt and Mike think that perhaps Big Joe Thompson is behind the threats, but they're not certain how serious the threats may actually be.

Meanwhile, back in Wisconsin, Amanda is trying to get a hold of Mike, but this time she's getting his voicemail. Amanda admits that she's no longer mad at Mike and that her previous reactions may have been influenced by pain killers that she had taken. Mike is still concerned about Amanda, specifically what he might do with other girls in Las Vegas. Kurt tries to convince Mike that it doesn't matter because he's no longer going out with Amanda.

The guys cruise the Las Vegas Strip and Kurt sticks his head out the sunroof, mooing at people and pointing out the landmarks and sights of Las Vegas. The guys are in awe of the entertainment options in Las Vegas, "Menopause: The Musical, strippers, and Carrot Top!" They arrive at their destination, another Wisconsin-friendly bar, Big Dog's Draft House & Microbrewery. A worker at the establishment, David, greets them at the door and tells them that, due to their tardiness, all the girls left and the party has been canceled. Kurt and Mike plea to still set up and try to make a sale. Finally, David says that if they listen to his theme song, they can set up and have their party. David jumps into an animated song about the establishment. When the song is done, the guys are allowed to set up and try to sell Happy Cow.

The party is not going well and the guys fear that the beer mafia may have beaten them to the punch and sabotaged their chances to make a sale in Las Vegas. While Mike considers taking off for Mexico and hiding out, Kurt is convinced his card counting abilities will work on video poker. Kurt borrows some money from Mike and begins playing video poker, partly inspired by another woman that just won $3,000 off a $20 investment. Somehow, Kurt gets an Ultra Royal Flush and wins $10,000! Kurt and Mike jump around and celebrate and Mike decides to go out to the trailer, clean up and get ready for bed and the trip back to Wisconsin in the morning. While Mike is back in the trailer, Kurt decides he will keep playing so that he can turn his $10,000 winnings into $20,000.

The next morning, the rig is back on the road. Kurt, wearing sunglasses and wired from the previous night, confesses that he lost all the money he'd previously won. Mike is, once again, back in the trailer. Mike wakes up, realizes Kurt is leading them farther west, and is confused when Kurt pulls up alongside the Underground Pub & Grill in Hermosa Beach, California. Mike gets out and asks Kurt what is happening. Kurt explains that he lost the $10,000, but that he knows a guy in Los Angeles and everything will be fine. They go to the beach to have a sausage party with their Wisconsin-based products that they've hauled 2,200+ miles, to the Pacific Ocean.

At the beach, the guys run into Seth, the owner of the Underground Pub & Grill and an acquaintance of Kurt's. Kurt explains their situation to Seth and lets Seth sample the Happy Cow Beer. Seth is overly impressed by the beer and Kurt asks if it might be possible to unload a few kegs at Seth's bar. Seth explains that his bar has a huge football party starting up in eight minutes, and the guys are welcome to share the Happy Cow if they can get it there and set up.

The party is a Big Border Battle Beach viewing party with football fans of both 4-0 Wisconsin and 3-1 Minnesota squaring off in various challenges. Despite their distance from Wisconsin, Kurt and Mike are at home and so is their Happy Cow Beer. Kurt competes in, and wins, the brat eating competition. During a game break, Kurt and Mike call up Troy to share the good news with him. Everyone is overjoyed that the guys pulled off the near-impossible and got a brewery-saving deal for Happy Cow. The beer mafia henchman appears with a cheese grater and summons Kurt and Mike outside. The henchman explains that he talked to his boss, who turns out to be Joe Thompson, and that his boss is okay with what's happened and will let the boys keep their beer and their fingers. The three guys head back inside for a celebratory beer. Mike steps outside, this time with Kurt's phone, and calls Amanda one more time. Amanda answers and is excited to hear from him, although she's surprised to hear he's all the way out in California. She assures him that their relationship will work out and tells him to get home safely because she misses her "Pookie."

Kurt and Mike sit on the beach, gazing at the Pacific Ocean as the sun sets before them. They recap the positive events that led them to this point, both agreeing that they are happy they took the adventure, and they look ahead to their new jobs and the future. Scroggins Baumgartner appears on the ocean's horizon and thanks them for saving the brewery. The guys give thumbs up and thank Scroggins right back. Kurt jumps up, places his cow hat on Mike's head and tells Mike that he's the Happy Cow now. Kurt runs full speed into the ocean as Mike yells at him to, "Go West!"

Credits recap some of the movie's events through the use of 8mm film footage. At the end of the credits, Kurt appears, standing and looking out at the Southern California scenery. He's on the phone with Mike and he tells Mike, "Troy just gave us our next assignment. Turns out the Brewery makes a Buck Naked." The camera zooms out and we see that Kurt, himself, is buck naked. Kurt asks Mike, "So, you're in?"