Summaries

Synopsis

A parody of The Exorcist, during which teenager Megan Voorhees (Natasha Lyonne) becomes possessed by the spirit of Hugh Kane (Richard Moll), the previous owner of the House. She interrupts a formal dinner party, thrown by her mother (Veronica Cartwright) by urinating on the carpet in front of all the guests. The party is ruined and the mother calls in priests to per form an exorcism.Two priests, Father McFeely (James Woods) and Father Harris (Andy Richter) attempt to drive Hugh's ghost out, but the exorcism does not go as planned, resulting in a chain of vomiting and various instances of near pedophilia.Finally, McFeely responds to an insult towards his mother by shooting Megan.

One year later, Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris), Brenda Meeks (Regina Hall), Ray Wilkins (Shawn Wayans), and Shorty Meeks (Marlon Wayans) are at college, trying to live new lives following the events of the previous film (although most of them actually died in Scary Movie, Brenda claims that her death was instead a near-death experience).Cindy and Brenda get tagged by a socially maladjusted girl, Alex (Tori Spelling). Ray, still confused about his sexuality, has two new male friends, Tommy (James DeBello) and Buddy (Christopher Masterson). Shorty is still the same stoner he was before and is using free paper from library books to roll his joints.

Meanwhile, Buddy's advances are spurned by Cindy, who is recovering from her previous relationship, leading to Buddy giving Cindy a wedgie.

A lecherous teacher, Professor Oldman (Tim Curry) and his paraplegic assistant, Dwight Hartman (David Cross), plan to study the paranormal activity at a local haunted mansion called Hell House using the clueless teens who Dwight reveals are the survivors of the Stevenston County Massacre. Oldman believes that these students are the catalyst he needs to awaken the spirits of Hell House and thus becoming the first person to document uncontested evidence of life after death. They recruit Cindy and her friends as test subjects under the pretense of a psychological experiment on sleep paralysis.

On her drive to the mansion, Cindy listens and sings badly along to "Graduation" by Vitamin C who through the radio tells her to shut up.When Cindy is the first to arrive at Hell House, she encounters a vulgar parrot (Matt Friedman), and the caretaker, Hanson (Chris Elliott), who has a malformed hand and no sense of respecting other people's personal space. Hason assigns Cindy to the room of Caroline, who was the wife of master Hugh Kane.

Oldman and Dwight have set up a control room and monitor everyone through hidden cameras all over the mansion. Hanson and Dwight start fighting from the get-go and make fun of each other's physical inadequacies.Later that evening, the group, including sexy newcomer Theo (Kathleen Robertson), sit down for dinner. Unfortunately, everybody loses their appetite due to Hanson's repulsive antics.

In the night, Cindy hears voices directing her to a secret room (which was hidden behind a bookcase), where she and Buddy discover a treasure chest containing the diary of the wife of the house's dead owner, Hugh Kane. They also find an old portrait of the wife and note Cindy's resemblance to her-Buddy also points out several flaws in Cindy's appearance (split ends in hair, oily skin, Squinty eyes, point and funny looking breasts and spaced too far apart).Cindy finds newspaper clippings that say that Hugh Kane and his mistress were found murdered in the house.

Meanwhile, many of the teens fall victim to violent attacks. Cindy gets involved in a fist fight with the house cat, Mr. Kittles when she tries to open the treasure chest. In the diary Caroline writes about Hugh turning into a monster and having an affair with their babysitter Victoria.A toy clown attempts to kill Ray - but thanks to some quick thinking, Ray perversely turns the tables and ends up sexually assaulting the clown.

A weed-monster turns Shorty into a joint and tries to smoke him - fortunately, the plant gets distracted by munchies and lets him escape.The ghost of Hugh Kane (Richard Moll) has sex with Alex in her bedroom - yet departs in the morning when Alex expresses her interest in becoming the new Mrs. Kane.Later, Cindy is possessed by Kane's wife, and she seduces Oldman. She quickly returns to normal, with no memory of the event.

The next morning, Oldman tells Dwight that no one is leaving the house despite the attacks and shows his lecherous nature. Dwight is given the only house keys and told to give them to nobody. Buddy sees this and the group decides to assign Theo to get the keys from Dwight. Theo offers oral sex to no avail; Dwight does it to himself. She knocks him out and takes the keys.Oldman is seduced and killed by the ghost of Kane's mistress, Victoria Crane. Shorty later encounters the same ghost, yet he seduces her instead.

After Dwight equips the teens with weapons that can injure their spectral enemy, they are pursued throughout the mansion. Buddy and Cindy get locked in the refrigerator. Thinking that Buddy is dying from an encounter with the ghost, Cindy gives him a "hand job". The couple then escape the room following a convoluted Deus Ex Machina, in which Cindy uses a collection of random objects in the room to somehow produce a Caterpillar tractor, which she drives through the wall.

Hanson himself gets possessed by Kane. Cindy, Brenda, and Theo team up to fight him in a parody of Charlie's Angels, but wind up defeated. Eventually, Dwight and the teens regroup, and agree to use Cindy as bait to lure Kane into a device that will destroy him. The plan succeeds, freeing the group from the house's curse.

Two months later, Cindy and Buddy are in a relationship and go out for a walk. However, Buddy disappears without notice when Cindy discovers Hanson at the hot dog stand. As Cindy backs away in fear, Hanson pursues her - and gets struck by a car driven by Shorty, distracted by a blow-job from the female ghost.