Summaries

Synopsis

The film opens with Shaquille O'Neal and Dr. Phil waking up to find their ankles chained to pipes in a spoof of the first Saw movie. They have only two minutes to escape as their host, Billy the Puppet, reveals that the room is filling up with nerve gas. Phil realizes they have to cut through their own ankles, but accidentally saws off the wrong foot, inadvertently leaving both men to die, for their bones are seen later in the movie.

In New York, Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris) visits her former brother-in-law Tom Logan (Charlie Sheen). Since the previous film, her husband George has died and her nephew Cody has been sent to military school, leaving her a broken and lonely woman. Tom, equally depressed despite being in a relationship with three girls, tries to commit suicide to both end his misery and end his irritation by Cindy's presence, by overdosing on sleeping pills. However, he mistakenly ingests Viagra, resulting in a painful death when he tumbles over the balustrade and lands on his absurdly erect penis.

Distraught, Cindy accepts the job of caring for an incapacitated old lady, Mrs. Norris (Cloris Leachman), who lives in a creepy and obviously haunted house which Tom had previously recommended her for. Meanwhile, Cindy's new neighbor, Tom Ryan (Craig Bierko), runs into George's old friends, Mahalik (Anthony Anderson) and CJ (Kevin Hart), who unintentionally reveal they had a homosexual one-night stand since taking a trip to the mountains, much to Tom's disgust and CJ's embarrassment. Tom returns home, where his ex-wife Marilyn (Molly Shannon) has just arrived with his children, Robbie (Beau Mirchoff) and Rachel (Conchita Campbell), both of whom resent their father.

The next morning, Cindy confides with Tom, leading to a conversation about their past relationships. Cindy sadly remembers the tragic death of her husband George Logan (Simon Rex) during the last match of her boxing career against dimwitted Tiffany Stone. When Stone turned around to pick up a nickel, Cindy tries to swing at her but misses and loses her balance. George notices that she is about to land on a stool, and he jumps in the way to save her but he accidentally kills himself which results in a chain reaction of multiple people breaking their necks and dying. As the two realize their love for each other and kiss, the sky suddenly experiences a freak storm. A gigantic object called Tri-Pod emerges from the ground to play "Karma Chameleon" - before switching to "Destroy Humanity", transforming into a mobile weapon that vaporizes people into dust and ashes. Cindy runs back home and encounters the house's resident ghost, Toshio. The Japanese boy reveals that the answer to the invasion lies in his father's identity. Tom chooses to part ways with Cindy and flees with his children to an undisclosed location.

While visiting Edna R. Penhall Elementary School, President Baxter Harris (Leslie Nielsen) receives news of the alien attack. Unfortunately, Harris is more interested by the reading of "My Pet Duck" and fails to respond appropriately. The situation only worsens when his aide explains that the duck dies, and the aide explains that the aliens are vaporizing people, which leads for the president to exclaim that all off these children's parents could be dead, which culminates in a violent riot by the children. On his way out the president asks his aide to remind him to sign the abortion bill. Later, at an emergency session of the United Nations, Harris follows a round of offensive jokes with the unveiling of a weapon designed to combat the aliens. Scientists have modified the heat ray into having the opposite effect of destroying clothes. The UN gets an unexpected and quite unwelcome demonstration when Harris unwittingly causes the ray to render everybody stark naked, beginning with himself.

Cindy reunites with her old friend Brenda Meeks (Regina Hall), now a local reporter despite having died in the previous film. The pair manage to find the last working car and follow the directions left by Toshio. Soon, they discover a mysterious village which resembles a pseudo-Amish community. Unfortunately, they are captured and taken into a court to have their fate decided by village leader Henry Hale (Bill Pullman). During the trial, Hale's blind daughter, Holly (Carmen Electra), stumbles into the courtroom thinking she's alone she strips and has a large bowel movement in front of everyone. To the consternation of the crowded courtroom, Hale rules that Cindy and Brenda may stay in the village, but never leave.

In a nearby field strewn with red weed, Tom and his children run into a battle between the US military and the TriPods. Robbie decides to join the fight, excited by the graphic violence. While Tom tries to dissuade him, Michael Jackson tries to persuade Rachel to come along - but Tom manages to stop her in time, leaving the singer to be repeatedly disintegrated until only his nose remains. Tom and Rachel flee into a house guarded by the lunatic Oliver (Michael Madsen), but their respite is short-lived when father and daughter are captured by a TriPod. Back in the village, Henry gets stabbed by the mentally challenged Ezekiel (Chris Elliott). A dying Henry explains to Cindy and Brenda that he is the father of Toshio, who was killed during the mass accident at Cindy's boxing match. However, various events conspire against Henry revealing the full story, finally culminating in Cindy and Brenda being caught by the Command TriPod.

The main characters wake up in the same bathroom from the opening. Cindy and Brenda find themselves wearing "Venus Fly Traps" and Tom wearing an absurd device designed to shoot a pole up his behind. Then Billy appears on the TV and tells them Cindy has 60 seconds to retrieve the key. After much prompting, Cindy realizes that she has to retrieve the key from behind her eye - which she does without trouble, since the key was behind a glass eye she got following a "bad bar fight in '96".

Then both Rachel and Robbie come down from the ceiling, to be sliced into pieces unless Tom holds onto their rope, leaving him open to another, ultimately lethal torture device where his kids would be saved but he would suffer a terrible death. Moments before his imminent death, Cindy notices the toilet that has a heart drawn on it (the same toilet Adam found the hacksaws) and discovers pictures of Billy with Henry's wife and Toshio. Realizing that Billy was the boy's biological father, and the entire invasion is revenge for his son's death, Cindy pleads him to call off the invasion. After seeing how far Tom would go to save his children's lives at the cost of his own, Billy spares their lives and grudgingly apologizes for killing millions of people and allows them to depart from the bathroom.

In an epilogue set nine months later, Brenda gives birth to the child of Billy's brother Zoltar, CJ and Mahalik resume their relationship, and President Harris is seen sleeping with a duck. James Earl Jones narrates mankind's victory through love - before being run over by a passing bus. Meanwhile, Tom appears on Oprah, crazy for attention. Ultimately, following various increasingly destructive antics, Tom manically throws Cindy off the stage and rushes towards the camera as the screen goes black.