Satirical coverage from the most trusted news network in the world.
No one knows what makes America tick like the Onion News Network. Unsure of the future? The high-flying world of finance? Whether Christ really died for your sins or not? Geez, the Earth sure *looks* flat. Well, there's only one source you can trust. If that last thing we just said went down, smooth and easy, then you need us more than we need you... and you're welcome! That's the Onion News Network.
Coverage includes: The Motor City Murderer; a 16-year-old white girl who will be tried as a black adult. Terrorists hold Susan Merriweather; denied access to volumizing products. Sarah Palin could win the Morbid Fascination vote. The ongoing saga of Suri Cruise. Fondly remembering Dr. Fred Gilgoff, inventor of the handjob.
All this, and countless other stunning pieces of pre-digested newsity, expertly crafted to glide under your jaded media radar, leaving a surprisingly delightful bitter aftertaste.
