Summaries

Synopsis

In 1986, after serving 30 years in prison for a failed train robbery, partners Archie Long (Kirk Douglas) and Harry Doyle (Burt Lancaster) are released from prison, and giddily plan to visit members of their old gang. When Archie comes upon a newspaper vending machine, he defies Harry, who insists they are respectable citizens now, by forcing it open and stealing a newspaper. As they read the front page, they notice that the "Gold Coast Flyer," the train they tried to rob 30 years earlier, is being retired. Its last run will occur in one week, but the ex-convicts are annoyed that they are not named in the article in connection with their robbery attempt.

Soon, their probation officer, Richie Evans (Dana Carvey), interrupts, and flatters them by observing that they represent a dying breed. As Richie leaves to get his car, an elderly stranger, Leon B. Little (Eli Wallach), appears and shoots at the partners with a double-barreled shotgun, but misses. As Leon scrambles looking for his glasses, the partners escape. When they find Richie, Archie insists on driving, although he finds the latest car technology annoying.

At the police station, Sergeant Deke Yablonski (Charles Durning) is not happy about learning to do payroll on a computer, he would rather track recently released convicts like Archie and Harry whom he sent to prison for the train robbery 30 years earlier.

At a bank, Archie and Harry notice the wall-mounted surveillance cameras. Harry has no current photo identification, and shows a bank officer a personal photograph instead. Suddenly, two thugs attempt a bank robbery. Harry wrestles the gun from one robber and takes it, but Archie persuades him not to shoot the man to avoid ruining his double-breasted suit. Afterward, Richie compliments the men on their grace under pressure, and the bank officer cashes Harry's check without I. D.

At his office, Richie explains the rules of parole. He gives 67-year-old Archie a job assignment and a voucher for a welfare hotel. Being age 72 and within retirement age with a mild heart condition, Harry is given lodging at the Golden Sunset Retirement home, and will receive a monthly social security income of $435. Harry does not like the idea of retirement at all, but Richie says retirement is mandatory for seventy-year-old's. The rules also state that ex-convicts cannot fraternize for three years. Later, Richie's hostile and strict boss reminds him that he is not to play favorites with Archie and Harry. If they violate parole only once, they are to be sent back to prison.

Archie walks into Mickey's bar, an old hangout, and leaves when he realizes it is now a bar for homosexuals. Harry meets Archie outside just as Leon B. Little appears with his shotgun, and orders the friends to walk into an alley. Harry and Archie maneuver the poor-sighted Leon into an open manhole, but they are still unable to figure out who Leon is, or the reason for his vendetta.

On the way to the retirement home, a street gang tries to collect money from the ex-convicts, but Archie and Harry diffuse the situation with some ethics code banner followed by a few well-placed punches, causing the street gang to flee. Once they reach their destination, Archie is convinced that Harry will be running the place within a week. As the friends say goodbye, Archie senses that Harry is sinking into a depression.

At the police station, Sgt. Deke Yablonski tries to convince the captain that Archie and Harry will revert to their life of crime and wants them arrested and put away. The captain orders Yablonski to get back to record keeping, and forget about sending the crooks back to prison.

At the retirement home, Harry does not like the food, and starts a mutiny... as if reminiscing about protesting the cafeteria food in prison.

Working at a yogurt shop, Archie hates waiting on difficult customers, and dumps yogurt on a boy's head.

Harry meets up with Belle (Alexis Smith), a former showgirl, and resident aerobics instructor. She invites him to visit and reminisce.

After Archie is fired, he heads to Tunney's Gym to work out. However, the former boxing gym is now an aerobics studio, and he has difficulty acclimating to the unfamiliar equipment. Archie is interested in the manager, a pretty blonde named Skye Foster (Darlanne Fluegel). She invites him to go dancing later in the evening. Archie goes to a mod clothing store where the owner and clerk Derek (Steven Memel), who only appears on a TV video monitor, gives him some advice on what modern and "hot" clothes to wear. Archie buys a new blue-colored outfit to impress Skye.

That evening, Harry takes Belle on a date to a favorite nightclub still in existence. As they dance to standards, Archie is elsewhere at a underground nightclub, shaking and grinding with Skye to the music of the rock band, Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Later, Richie Evans gets Archie a new job as a bus boy at a restaurant. Deke Yablonski visits Archie at the restaurant, and taunts him about his financial circumstances. Archie soon becomes frustrated with demanding customers and his abusive supervisor quits. Later, he tires of Skye's constant partying and breaks up with her. Both he and Harry hear a television news report about the end of the Gold Coast Flyer service.

Meanwhile, Yablonski surprises Harry at a local bar and warns that Harry will slip up, and when that happens, he will be waiting to arrest him. Harry is too drunk to hit Yablonski, but Archie appears and punches the sergeant out instead. Harry falls asleep drunk and Archie puts him to bed. In the morning, they decide retirement does not agree with them. They decide to round up old gang members. They first venture to a restaurant where they meet their old mentor and boss Jimmy Ellis (Nathan Davis) who is frail, hard of hearing and travels with a long-term bodyguard named Vince (Monty Ash) who is nearly frail as Ellis. In the restaurant's bar, Harry and Archie meet their old friend "Philly the Mouse," (Billy Barty) a dwarf who is currently a paraplegic.

Meanwhile, Leon B. Little resurfaces and demands that Richie Evans tell him where he can find Archie and Harry, but Richie plays dumb. Leon discovers the information in Richie's file cabinet, and takes him hostage.

After paying a visit to Dick Schultz (Simmy Bow), the ex-convicts find that he is suffering from dementia, and complain that their cronies have either become crippled or crazy. At the same time, the captain demands that Yablonski stop his surveillance on Harry and Archie or run the risk of getting fired and collecting early retirement.

Elsewhere, Leon B. Little and Richie Evans show up at Belle's apartment looking for Harry. On the street, Archie and Harry lament that it is impossible to rob a bank without a gang, and decide to rob an armored car on the spur of the moment. As part of the heist, Harry pretends to have a heart attack. A guard falls for the ruse, and the ex-convicts steal his weapon and the armored car. In an industrial section of town, they realize the armored car contains no cash, only a roll of quarters. When a news report points out that they screwed up the heist, Archie wants to steal the Gold Coast Flyer and ride it to Mexico, going out in a "blaze of glory." Harry rejects the foolish plan.

Meanwhile at the retirement home, Leon B. Little becomes impatient waiting for Harry and Archie. He leaves the apartment, taking Richie and Belle as hostages. Yablonski shows up at the retirement home and is told that Little is in an apartment with a gun. He investigates as Little sees Archie and Harry on the street and starts shooting at them. The ex-convicts duck to avoid being shot. Richie punches Little, who loses his glasses as he falls. Harry, Archie and Richie use Yablonski's car to escape.

At the warehouse and hidden from police, Archie tries to persuade Richie to help him steal the Gold Coast Flyer. Richie refuses to become a criminal, and Archie drives off in Yablonski's car. That night, Harry has a nightmare where Archie attempt to rob the Gold Coast Flyer train on his own and Yablonski is waiting for him in disguise as a train engineer where he shoots Archie dead.

The next day, Archie parks his stolen car on the train tracks, blocking the path of the Gold Coast Flyer. As the train stops, Archie takes his Uzi sub-machine gun that he took from the armored truck driver and warns the conductor a robbery is in progress. Harry pops up and sticks a gun (the same gun he took from one of the bank robbers) in the conductor's face. The train is full of reporters, and the ex-convicts stop to have their photographs taken and give interviews. Leon B. Little interrupts the proceedings, where he formally introduces himself to Archie and Harry and explains the reason for his trying to kill them. Leon B. Little claims that an associate and local mob boss, named Vinnie Mendelman, put out a $20,000 contract on Archie and Harry back in 1956 for not giving him any profits from their robbery jobs. Despite the fact that Vinnie Mindelman died a short while later and Harry and Archie have been imprisoned during that same time, Little waited 30 years for Harry and Archie to be released from prison to get the job done.

Just then, armed police and SWAT men surround the train. Harry and Archie persuade Little to team up with them until the conflict is over. Yablonski addresses them through a bullhorn, and Harry agrees to hear what he has to say. Yablonski, who plans to join them on the train, warns that they may not come out alive. The journalists are freed, but Richie Evans boards the train in disguise as a police officer, and starts the engine. Although police open fire, the train pushes aside Yablonski's car, and starts down the track. The police fire a barrage of bullets at the departing train, while Archie returns fire with his sub-machine gun, damaging several police cars, but causing no casualties.

Yablonski follows the train in a helicopter, and informs the robbers that the track ends before it reaches Mexico. The ex-convicts push Leon B. Little out of the caboose and he lands in a river, with him vowing to kill them for this... even if it takes another 30 years. Archie asks Richie to jump onto the roof of the last car, then detaches it, and reminds Richie that he is not a criminal. If police give him a hard time, he should insist he was coerced.

As Harry and Archie put the train engine in full speed, border police officers open fire and then scramble as the train barrels past the end of the track, and comes to rest on Mexican soil. From the hovering helicopter Yablonski insanely laughs at their audacity, and tells the helicopter pilot to take him home. As Harry and Archie jump off the train, armed Mexican Federales surround them to place them under arrest for illegally entering Mexico. Archie and Harry once again put on their 'talk-their-way-out-of-a-tough-situation' routine speech, along with a well-placed kick to the groin...