Homer is stunned to learn he'll only live once. A pen pal from his youth helps him live that life to its fullest. Meanwhile Springfield Elementary institutes an honor code.
Homer helps take care of a child that he delivered in an elevator, and Lisa tries to organize the Springfield Atoms cheerleaders against the team's greedy owner.
Lisa is distressed when she discovers that her new friend is a Republican, and they wind up running against each other as Springfield Elementary's second grade representative.
Principal Skinner promises the students that the best-behaved can take a ride in a submarine. Bart believes his past indiscretions will be forgotten. Lisa tries to help Krusty by suggesting him to sell the foreign rights to his shows.
Fed up with the high price of Hollywood films, Homer begins screening pirated movies in his backyard, but is busted by the FBI after Marge turns him in.
Mr. Burns' Christmas present to his employees, a pair of augmented reality glasses, places a strain on Homer and Marge's relationship. Meanwhile, Bart wrestles with giving a Valentine's Day card to Nelson.
Lisa becomes friends with Sideshow Bob, who now has a new job working with genetically-altered foods. Meanwhile, Marge becomes frustrated teaching abstinence for the church.
When Abe and two of his friends move in with the Simpsons after the Springfield Retirement Castle closes, Homer begins to embrace their lifestyle. Meanwhile, Nelson initiates Bart into the bully group after coming to his defense.
The friendship between the Simpsons and the Van Houtens is challenged when a painting the Simpsons buy from the Van Houtens' yard sale is discovered to be extremely valuable.
Thirty years into the future, Bart is having trouble dealing with his divorce, Lisa is struggling with her marriage to Milhouse, and Marge is finally fed up after burying yet another Homer clone.
When Homer ruins his and Marge's chances of making a new couple friend, Marge decides to concentrate on finding a friend for Lisa. However, Lisa suddenly makes a new friend on her own.
Bart wins the annual "last day of school" race - with a little help from Nelson - and Homer attempts to bring back 4th of July fireworks, which have been canceled due to low budget cuts.
