Episode list

The host for the episode is Elliott Gould (his sixth appearance), and the musical guest is Kid Creole & The Coconuts. The skits for this episode are as follows: Elliott Gould wakes up in bed with the rest of the cast, and tells them what it was like working with the old SNL team. For his opening monologue, Eliott starts showing some of his old underwear to the audience, and ends up trading lingerie with Denny Dillon. To help educate Americans in their cars, a new program puts works of classic literature on billboards along the highways. After President Carter loses the 1980 election, Rosalyn tells him that now he's free to do whatever he wants. A couple receives a singing billy-gram from the woman's disapproving parents. A topless spokeswoman for the American Cancer Association demonstrates how to self-examine for breast cancer. During the Weekend Update, Charles Rocket reports on Ronald Reagan's planned appointments to his cabinet and proposed budget measures, Gail Matthius tries to inform John Anderson that he lost the election, and Ron Grosscup explains his theory that Reagan actually died several months earlier and has been replaced with a stand-in. For the Rocket Report, Charles attempts to get an interview with John Lennon, but instead starts investigating the state of trash collection in the neighborhood. A sergeant explains some of the new training measures being adopted now that homosexuals are allowed in the military. A stockbroker in his forties awkwardly tries to have a date with a teen-age valley girl. As a complement to speed reading, a new education service offers viewers the chance to learn speed listening. Kid Creole and the Coconuts perform "Mister Softee".

The host for the episode is Malcolm McDowell, and the musical guest is Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band. The skits for this episode are as follows: mother nags at her son to sit up straight as he's strapped into the electric chair. A nature program searches through urban America for the elusive black republican. A spokesman for American tobacco growers explains that lung cancer is actually caused by the lungs themselves, and not by smoking. Two British nobles develop the sport of serf-riding. The Reagans decide to adopt Amy Carter as their own White House daughter. The American Milk Association invites Alex DeLarge to speak on behalf of their product. During the Weekend Update, Charles Rocket reports on the trial of the Gang of Four, the Reagans' first visit to the White House, the seizure of a cargo ship in Miami, and the failure of the movie Heaven's Gate, Charles interviews John Lennon and Yoko Ono, only to find that John has become obsessed with housekeeping, and Joe Piscopo re-enacts the Leonard-Duran fight with toy robots. A dominatrix delivers the leather weather report, using her shackled slave as the map. Two hunters are eager for the opening day of Commie hunting season. For the Rocket Report, Charles tries to interview passers-by on Fifth Avenue, but nobody is eager to talk with him and answer his awkward questions. A wine connoisseur recommends American wines that go well with American foods. Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band perform "Hot Head" and "Ashtray Heart".

The host for the episode is Ellen Burstyn, and the musical guests are Aretha Franklin and Keith Sykes. The skits for this episode are as follows: David Rockefeller comes on to announce that the United States will be going co-op. Ellen Burstyn takes a look back at the film roles she's done and announces she's going to start doing lighter roles. A spokesman for the Ed McMahon school of laughing offers to teach people how to laugh like Ed. Ellen gets interviewed by Pinkie and Leo Waxman. For the Rocket Report, Charles Rocket looks for sex on a New York ferry. Jersey Man Paulie Herman records a video for a dating service. During the Weekend Update, basketball player Raheem Abdul Muhammad shares his views on NBA quotas for white players, and Dr. Zuko explains that female orgasm is just a myth. A film highlights Pepe Gonzalez, the only bullfighter in New York. Valley girls Vickie and Debbie pay a visit to Planned Parenthood. Toni Tenille interviews Jean Harris, the murderer of Scarsdale Diet creator Dr. Tarnower. A Dr. Demento music video demonstrates the many uses for fish heads. Aretha Franklin performs "United Together" and Keith Sykes performs "B.I.G.T.I.M.E."

The host for the episode is Jamie Lee Curtis, and the musical guests are James Brown and Ellen Shipley. The skits for this episode are as follows: The Mean Majority explain how things are going to change now that their man has won the presidency. For her opening monologue, Jamie Lee Curtis obliges the audience by screaming in terror. Over the course of the show, Brooke Shields gives three vacuous endorsements for Clovin Hind jeans. Jersey Guy Paulie Herman encounters a three-card monte dealer on the street. Two poetesses make their work famous by the only means available to them: committing suicide on live television. A public service announcement warns viewers of the dangers of playing poker while high on pot. Members of the Badgers Club get together to celebrate berating random people and insulting their waitress. An aspiring photographer plots to blow up the Statue of Liberty so he can take an award-winning photo. James Brown performs "Rapp Payback", plus a medley of his older hits, and Ellen Shipley performs "Fotogenic".

The host for the episode is David Carradine, and the musical guests are the cast from The Pirates of Penzance. The skits for this episode are as follows: Joe Piscopo tries out his voice to become the next SNL announcer, but Don Pardo quickly quashes his hopes. David Carradine wants to sing "I Wanna Be a Dancin' Man" for his opening monologue, but Charles Rocket steps in and stops him at the last moment. A gun shop invites customers to come by for their last-minute Christmas shopping. Caine, the traveling kung-fu master, gets some fashion advice from the owner of a menswear shop. Valley girls Vickie and Debbie go down to the mall to try and impress some boys. For the Rocket Report, Charles does a story about a derelict Santa wandering the streets of New York. Bob Dylan goes to visit Woody Guthrie in the hospital, where the two converse only in folk-song lyrics. An NBC executive stages a worldwide search for a virgin. David extols the virtues of Dopenhagen smokeless marijuana. Mr. Bill reflects on some of his more painful holiday memories. Caine teams up with Bruce Lee for a holiday special. Linda Rondstadt and the cast of Pirates of Penzance perform a medley of songs from the musical, as well as a medley of holiday songs.

The host for the episode is Ray Sharkey, and the musical guest is Jack Bruce & Friends. The skits for this episode are as follows: Jimmy the Weasel tells the truth and gets a bullet for his troubles. A special translator is called in when a WASP tries to express emotion. Valley girls Vickie and Debbie head down to a new wave club where they meet punk rocker Tommy Torture. A despondent Jimmy Carter drowns his sorrows at a bar as Reagan's inauguration looms closer. Dr. Gazzara, representing Citizens for a Better America, invites Ronald Reagan to give him a 'hum job'. During the Weekend Update, Eddie Murphy asks that the draft board pass him over in favor of Garrett Morris, since Garrett is now out of work. A horror movie features people being attacked by smile faces. A salesman approaches childless couples in the park and offers to sell them black market white babies. Eddie Murphy does a stand-up routine about insult contests popular in black neighborhoods. Jack Bruce & Friends perform "Dancing on Air" and "Living Without Ya".

The host for the episode is Karen Black (her second appearance), and the musical guests are Cheap Trick and The Stanley Clarke Trio. The skits for this episode are as follows: During the Carters' last days in the White House, Rosalyn instructs Jimmy and Amy to take away everything they can carry. A music company pitches an album of classical works that inspired the hit songs of today. A foundation to help the tragically hip solicits donations. Game show host Phil Lively meets his new neighbors. President-elect Reagan decides to name Nancy as his Vice President after Frank Sinatra recommends her for the job. For the Rocket Report, Charles Rocket interviews a daredevil cab driver. A museum guard confesses to the Mona Lisa that he has to break off their relationship. During the Weekend Update, Mary Lou James present diet tips for the stupid, and Joe Piscopo tries to scalp a pair of tickets to the Super Bowl. Dan Rather leads an investigation into why there are no female reporters at CBS. A stroke victim attempts to communicate with his visitors at the hospital, but fails. Karen Black gets interviewed by Pinkie and Leo Waxman, but can't keep up with their constantly shifting topics. To let people know that 'guns don't kill people, people kill people', the National Handgun Association presents a demonstration of a criminal using a black man to mug people. Cheap Trick performs "Baby Loves to Rock" and "Can't Stop but I'm Gonna Try", and the Stanley Clarke Trio performs "Wild Dog".

The host for the episode is Robert Hayes, and the musical guests are Joe 'King' Carrasco & The Crown and 14 Karat Soul. The skits for this episode are as follows: Ted Koppel announces that now that the hostages are safely back from Iran, NBC News will continue to harass their families as they count the former hostages' days out of captivity. For his opening monologue, Robert Hays notes that NBC will be using a new instant Neilsen Rating system to let everyone know how popular the show is, then is forced to start ad-libbing provocative topics to get the ratings back up. A Native American pitches the psychedelic pleasures of mushroom-based Dazola spread. Robert finds an inflatable prostitute in his hotel room, accompanied by her inflatable pimp. A sports reporter interviews video game champion Eddie Atari. NBC holds a telethon to help save the network. Three panelists discuss the upcoming Super Bowl, getting outrageously worked up over the game's importance. When the musician hired for a funeral can't make it, a ballpark organist fills in. For the Weekend Update, Charles Rocket reports on Jimmy Carter and Walter Mondale adjusting to life after politics, Tiffany Fleur presents the new fashions for engineers, Joe Piscopo uses a tabletop football game to preview the Super Bowl, and Eddie Murphy discusses how the recent Iranian crisis has affected his drug purchases. For the Rocket Report, Charles examines President Reagan's daily schedule. Eddie Murphy promises that he won't let stardom go to his head now that he's been hired as a full cast member. 14 Karat Soul performs "I Wish That We Were Married" and "This Time It's For Real" and Joe 'King' Carrasco & The Crown performs "Don't Bug Me Baby".

The host for the episode is Sally Kellerman, and the musical guest is Jimmy Cliff (his second appearance). The skits for this episode are as follows: For the Rocket Report, Charles Rocket goes to one of the parades being held to welcome home the Iran hostages. An Italian stand-up comedian performs in front of his family while a talent scout looks on. Contestants on a quiz show attempt to identify taboo subjects. A group of upper-class women one-up one another with social faux-pas stories. A new book of Iranian jokes let readers entertain their families and friends. During the Weekend Update, Eddie Murphy announces that since the Emancipation Proclamation was never actually signed, people should go out and claim their very own black person while they can. A mother and father explain the facts of life in extremely graphic detail to their son. A councilor at a fat camp cracks the whip over her charges, until a member of the audience stops the skit to complain about the unfair portrayal of fat people. Members of a student council in Iran debate what to do now that the hostages have gone home. A criminal trial is shown on TV in talk-show format. Jimmy Cliff performs "I Am the Living" and "Gone Clear", and Sally Kellerman performs "Starting Over Again".

The host for the episode is Deborah Harry, and the musical guest is Funky 4+1 and More. The skits for this episode are as follows: Ronald Reagan invites Frank Sinatra to clear up the question of whether or not he's a hoodlum. For her opening monologue Deborah Harry introduces her parents in the audience, both of whom have the same hairstyle as her. A preview for a horror movie features leftovers that have been in the refrigerator too long. Game show host Phil Lively talks with a nurse from a retirement home about having his aging father live with with them. A man named Cooter has his life officially recognized as a Tennessee Williams one-act play. For the Rocket Report, Charles Rocket goes into Central Park to find out just how scary it really is. Jersey guy Paulie Herman goes to pick out a Valentine's Day card for his family and meets a New Jersey woman. During the Weekend Update, a spokesman for the Reagan administration announces that there are no poor people in America. Pinky and Leo Waxman go to Soho to visit their niece Susan in the hopes of setting her up with a boyfriend, oblivious to the fact that she's a lesbian. Valley girls Vickie and Debbie bump into Tina, a former classmate who dropped out of school. Deborah Harry performs "Love TKO" and "Come Back Jonee", and Funky 4 + 1 More performs "That's the Joint".

The host for the episode is Charlene Tilton, and the musical guests are Todd Rundgren and Prince. The skits for this episode are as follows: Joe Piscopo covers a boxing match between Rocko Weineretto and Weindulah, both of whom are hand puppets. Joe gets dumped by Ann Risley, then becomes enraged when he finds out that she's been seeing Charles Rocket in secret. A record company spokesman pitches a new album of unlikely make-out music. Mr. Robinson introduces the folks in his neighborhood and receives a package from Mr. Speedy. For the Rocket Report, Charles takes host Charlene Tilton for a ride on the New York subways. A new production of Fiddler on the Roof features Stevie Wonder as Tevye. The Reagans make their daughter-in-law Doria sleep in the haunted Lincoln bedroom. Charlene vows to get even with Charles Rocket for two-timing her with Ann Risley, and Gilbert Gottfried vows to get even with Rocket for dating all the hosts and leaving him with nothing. Before a piano competition, to rival pianists break each other's fingers. Two women in prison discuss the industrial revolution. During a skit about two people washing a dog, an unseen assassin shoots Charles in the chest. During the good-nights, Charles makes an unfortunate statement about the shooting, and Don Pardo admits to pulling the trigger in revenge for Charles' sleeping with his wife. Todd Rundgren performs "Healer" and "Time Heals" and Prince performs "Party Up".

The host for the episode is Bill Murray, and the musical guest is Delbert McClinton (his second appearance). The skits for this episode are as follows: Before the show, the entire cast goes to Bill Murray's dressing room to share their anxieties. He gives them a pep talk about how ratings aren't all that important. During his opening monologue, Bill grabs a woman from the audience and has to be restrained by Eddie Murphy. Jersey Guy Paulie Herman praises the chemical industry. Walter Cronkite tries sensory deprivation and goes on a psychedelic trip. A scientist shows off his photos of DNA molecules. Lounge singer Nick performs for Mardi Gras party-goers on a Mississippi riverboat. A sports reporter suggests the use of softer sticks to tone down hockey violence. Bill makes his Oscar picks, all of which happen to be for films starring the original cast. A man with unusual tastes goes into a flower shop. A couple go to a house party but are put at a loss when they can't remember the name of their host's cat. During the good-nights, Bill apologizes to his former cast-mates. Delbert McClinton and Bonnie Bramlett perform "Givin' It Up For Your Love" and "Shotgun Rider".

The musical guest is Jr. Walker & The All-Stars. There is no host. The skits for this episode are as follows: Chevy Chase finds Mr. Bill while rummaging through some supply closets. The two reminisce about old times until Chevy accidentally crushes Bill. Frank Sinatra puts on a show to encourage people to buy American cars by bashing everything Japanese. Bill Cosby sells light beer to kids. A husband accuses his chimpanzee wife of having an affair. During the Weekend Update, Raheem Abdul Muhammed gives a movie review but confuses 'Altered States' with 'Stir Crazy', Laurie Metcalf asks people on the street if they would take a bullet for Ronald Reagan, and Al Franken tells viewers to forget about SNL and just let the show die peacefully. An Italian father gives his son some advice on his wedding day. Irene Cara sings about how all her songs sound alike. Chevy tries to convince viewers that the show is getting better, but Robin Williams and Christopher Reeves come on to voice their disagreement. As a bag lady shuffles around outside, onlookers make comments about her. Jr. Walker & The All-Stars perform "Road Runner", "Shotgun", "How Sweet It Is" and "What Does It Take?"