Hawkeye is bored and tired, the best time to pen another missive to his father. He describes Klinger's sheer white wedding gown, which does little to hide his white boxer shorts but is better than Hawkeye's naked dining fiasco. There is more fun to be had over Hotlips' recent tiff with Frank; he got drunk on gin and confided that his own brother used to call him Ferret Face. Radar is now a real, honest to goodness mail order graduate. But, Captain Casey, the new boy genius of their surgical team, is not really a doctor; Hawkeye's failure to throw the book at him causes Casey to reassess his career choices: and an R.C. priest named Schwartz is born. Henry conducts the doctors playing and Hotlips singing "My Blue Heaven" but no one is listening. Hotlips is really selling it, but it is hard to get the Army behind any color but olive drab,
