In a parody of the final weeks of Christ's life, South Park goes into hysterics over the failing economy, but Kyle begins preaching that there is no reason for fear. Meanwhile, Stan unsuccessfully tries to return his dad's margarita machine.
Jimmy comes up with the perfect joke, but Cartman wants to take half the credit for it. However, Kanye West doesn't get the joke, and vows revenge on the person who came up with it.
Randy and Stan accidentally reach warp speed when Randy illegally soups up Stan's Pinewood Derby racer, which prompts a visit by an alien gangster and the space police trying to track him down.
When Ike is haunted by dead celebrities, Kyle and the boys hire professional ghost hunters to investigate the Broflovski house for paranormal activity.
Stan is upset about the Japanese killing whales and dolphins, so he takes command of the Sea Shepherd on the "Whale Wars" reality show and does something about it.
When the pee levels reach a critical stage at a local water park, chaos and disaster ensue. However, after the disaster, Cartman remains obsessed with the number of minorities who are "taking over" the park.
