Cartman launches a gemstones network show and creates a very lucrative business. Stan searches for the real value of a piece of jewelry that was a gift from his Grandpa. Meanwhile, Cartmans lucrative new business preys upon an extremely vulnerable clientele.
Cartman starts convincing people a mystical blood-sucking from Mexico he calls the Jewpacabra, exists and that the kids and folks of South Park are in danger for the upcoming Easter Egg hunt.
As bullying at South Park Elementary becomes more severe, the kids take action against it after seeing Butters beaten up, but Butters has a secret about his tormentor.
Eric, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny go ziplining but find it's incredibly boring and the fellow ziplining tourists drive them crazy. Now they must do all that they can to escape from the group and get off the mountain back to normal life.
There's a new girl in school and she's black, so Cartman instantly assumes Token wants her, but when Token doesn't seem interested, Eric sets up an elaborate scheme to put the two together.
Angered over the overly sensitive parents in South Park over their kids playing football because of recent news about concussions, Randy invents the game Sarcastaball in order to get people to see how stupid they've been.
Cartman finally realizes he is too fat and decides to do something about it, while James Cameron realizes the societal bar has been lowered too low, and goes on a deep sea expedition to find the bar to raise it.
After Ike accidentally sees mom and dad having sex, with Gerald dressed as a UPS man, the kids create a stir leading men in South Park thinking the UPS man is secretly having sex with their wives.
Butters starts acting out, yelling, telling people off, and even beating one kid up. Little does Butters know, but he's reached a special age and that there's more going on than he knows, and that he wasn't born in South Park.
The boys are excited to go trick-or-treating, dressed as the Avengers, but Stan is unable to come because Randy has bought a Blockbuster Video franchise location in South Park.
The world is rocked by news that a performance enhancing drug was found in test results from Jesus, used to make his miracles and thus did not die for our sins, and now people across the world become disillusioned, except Stan who refuses to cut his What Would Jesus Do? bracelet off. And in the process Stan inadvertently creates a world wide movement.
Cartman has stolen thousands of ballots from swing states in order to assure Obama's re-election all in a bid to get himself a part in the new Star Wars movie now that Disney owns the franchise.
