After Kyle clicks on the latest iTunes user agreement without reading it, Steve Jobs forces him to be an unwilling participant in his latest project. Meanwhile, Cartman equates his mom not giving him an iPad to sexual abuse.
After Jimmy declares that the Germans are the least funny people in the world in his comedy awards show, they retaliate by creating "Funnybot" an automated comedian who is so funny that it puts all other comedians out of work.
During the televised Canadian royal wedding, the bride-to-be is kidnapped by an unknown entity. After a call to arms is issued to Canadians, Ike travels to Canada, abandoning his role in Mr. Mackey's kindergarten play about dental hygiene.
Thinking the school has posted the size of all the kid's penises for the whole school to see, Cartman works all the boys up into tizzy. The principal decides it's time to address Cartman's anger issues by having him take anger management classes. Cartman uses his anger to enrage the class and hold a business hostage. Stan's dad decides to teach the students how to properly measure penis size, using complex mathematical formulas.
Feeling guilty after watching another commercial about helpless children set to Sarah McLachlan singing, Kyle volunteers and is shocked to find Cartman helping crack babies at the hospital already. Kyle gets drawn into Cartman's despicable plot, thinking he can also help the crack babies.
A new Sushi shop moves into South Park and an Asian turf war is ignited between the "Japanese" owner of City Sushi and the "Chinese" owner of City Wok.
During a game of border patrol vs. Mexicans, where the kids play the two groups, Butters goes missing and eventually winds up in Mexico where he becomes their new leader, Mantequilla. Suddenly legal and illegal alien Mexicans flood back across the border to Mexico for a better life because of the decline of the U.S. economy. Eric joins the U.S. border patrol and squares off against Butters.
When South Park Elementary is the victim of a gossip website named Eavesdropper, all hell breaks loose - who will save the day; Cartman or Gerbil King Lemmiwinks?
Randy discovers a secret: women give blow jobs after seeing stage musicals because there are hidden subliminal references to blow jobs in the songs and women don't know it. Shelly has a love interest.
When Cartman's lack of fitness starts impacting on the "99%" of kids at South Park Elementary, he has to deal with some too-close-to-home revenge killings.
Upon Eric's advice, the boys use The History Channel's special on the first thanksgiving, to write their school report, but Stan has misgivings when the special insists aliens were part of it. A secret organization, a pilgrim from outer space, a stuffing shortage, and war between two worlds hangs in the balance and only the boys are caught in the midst of it all.
After Kenny's parents are arrested and he and his siblings are sent to a foster home, Eric searches for who is the new poor kid in South Park and the results are shocking. Mysterion must help his brother and sister and the rest of the foster children get out of the abusive foster home.
