Chef and the children learn that Earth is actually just a reality show for other planets. When they learn it is to be canceled, the boys travel to a distant planet to plead their case to the network executives.
The boys toilet paper their art teacher's house to get revenge for detention. When Kyle's guilty conscience makes him want to confess, Cartman makes an attempt on his life.
The town is divided down the middle on the Iraq war issue. Therefore, Cartman tries to induce a flashback so that he can find out what the Founding Fathers would have to say about the war.
Cartman makes a Jennifer Lopez hand doll and turns her into a music star, which draws the furious anger of the real Jennifer Lopez as well as the sexual advances of Ben Affleck.
After the boys start a Jr. Detective's Club and find a girl's missing doll, they are recruited by the county police department. Their first assignment: to break up a meth lab.
Kyle, Mr. Garrison and Mr. Slave travel to New York City to bring an end to the latest "metrosexual" fad, and discover that it's actually part of a crab-people conspiracy to take over the planet.
South Park takes all of the driver's licenses away from its senior citizens, and the AARP responds by launching an armed invasion of the town to defend their rights.
Stan learns about the Mormon religion after a new family moves to South Park from Utah. Caught up in the family-friendly doctrine of the church, Randy declares the Marshes to be Mormon as well.
